Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Doctor is IN


OVER AT RADIO INFOMANIAC, OUR DEAREST FRIEND MISTRESS MJ HAS BLOWN THE LID OFF MY TRUE PASSION, MY REASON FOR LIVING. AND THAT IS WHAT YOU QUERY? WHY, IT'S YOU DARLING!! YOU AND YOUR TROUBLES, YOU AND YOUR PHOBIAS, YOU AND YOUR FEARS. TELL MOTHER NORMA WHATEVER HAUNTS YOU AT NIGHT. TELL MOTHER NORMA WHAT TAUNTS YOU DURING THE DAY. I'M LICENSED IN 49 STATES AND FULLY BONDED. THE LINES ARE OPEN!
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53 comments:

  1. ThombeauJanuary 24, 2012 at 7:42 PM

    Meaning what, exactly?

    ReplyDelete
  2. The MistressJanuary 24, 2012 at 8:13 PM

    The letter "A" between the "W" and the "C" on your microphone appears to have gone missing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. normadesmondJanuary 24, 2012 at 8:21 PM

      i had to buy the station to get that "A" removed.

      Delete
  3. PrincessJanuary 24, 2012 at 8:21 PM

    Dear Norma
    I had a Dream recently about an ear trumpet being used as a rear trumpet... Please... what does it all mean?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. normadesmondJanuary 24, 2012 at 8:42 PM

      thank you princess for your excellent question!
      i think you need to run that trumpet thru the sani-cycle in your dishwasher!

      Delete
  4. DeepBlueJanuary 24, 2012 at 8:30 PM

    Your co-host has the lips of a horn player!

    ReplyDelete
  5. ThombeauJanuary 24, 2012 at 8:52 PM

    Does this butt plug make me look gay?

    ReplyDelete
  6. FirstNationsJanuary 24, 2012 at 8:54 PM

    What is this thing on my pudenda? Can I teach it to talk, like a cow? Will it steal for me if I threaten it?

    ReplyDelete
  7. The MistressJanuary 24, 2012 at 9:06 PM

    Will this rash clear up?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. normadesmondJanuary 24, 2012 at 9:32 PM

      just hung up from speaking to the head of the CDC.
      it doesn't look good.

      Delete
  8. FirstNationsJanuary 24, 2012 at 9:08 PM

    Will MJ's horrible seeping rash, with fuzz and crud stuck to it, and a pine cone, clear up?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. normadesmondJanuary 24, 2012 at 9:33 PM

      take the mirror out from between your legs dear.

      Delete
  9. LẌJanuary 24, 2012 at 9:12 PM

    I've removed all of those "DO NOT REMOVE UNDER PENALTY OF LAW" tags from the pillows at Infomaniac. Does the TSA have jurisdiction for this crime in Canada?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. normadesmondJanuary 24, 2012 at 9:35 PM

      i'm fearful it's the other crimes that they're more interested in.
      and yes, with crimes like yours, there are no borders.

      Delete
  10. The MistressJanuary 24, 2012 at 9:16 PM

    *sprays Pristeen liberally toward Ms. Nation’s pudenda*

    *hides from TSA*

    ReplyDelete
  11. normadesmondJanuary 24, 2012 at 9:38 PM

    pristeen simply won't cut it with this outbreak.
    one must starve the thing of oxygen, and pray.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Mistress MaddieJanuary 24, 2012 at 10:00 PM

    Well Norma, I have had these dreams, many nights, that these small creatures that look like gnomes, get me drunk, And then 20 to 30 dildos that look like Mistress Mj's striped stockings try to rape me. Any clues?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. normadesmondJanuary 24, 2012 at 10:19 PM

      whew! you wrote, "...try to rape me."
      it means you're still a virgin.

      Delete
  13. AnonymousJanuary 24, 2012 at 10:11 PM

    Dear Norma,
    Why didn't Rollo have his own, bad cat spin-off from "Sanford & Son"?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousJanuary 25, 2012 at 7:16 AM

      Which I see you've now employed!

      Delete
  14. kabuki zeroJanuary 24, 2012 at 10:23 PM

    why has the universe been getting on kabuki's last nerve

    ReplyDelete
  15. FirstNationsJanuary 24, 2012 at 10:43 PM

    How did I get this rash from MJ?-no wait, I know the answer to that one. OK. Why didn't Rollo have his own 'bad cat' spin-no wait. OK. OK.
    ..no. I really want to know more about this whole 'Rollo denied his own spinoff' thing. Rollo was fly as hell. *snif*

    ReplyDelete
  16. KleeJanuary 24, 2012 at 11:18 PM

    Two things that scare me the most in this world: "Prince" Frederic von Anhalt and Dunaway's veneers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. normadesmondJanuary 24, 2012 at 11:22 PM

      they should. you're obviously a very smart man. now, run....FAST!

      Delete
  17. The MistressJanuary 25, 2012 at 3:34 AM

    Thanks to Margaret, I've fruitlessly spent the wee hours of the morning looking for information about Rollo...i.e. where is he now?

    Because when asked, "Which Sanford and Son character would YOU do?" I always answered without hesitation...."ROLLO!"

    *waves stockinged foot seductively at Mistress Maddie*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousJanuary 25, 2012 at 7:23 AM

      Rollo basically lives a quiet life, incognito, if you will. Perhaps he walks among us?

      From Wiki Answers.com (obviously blocked on MJ's Internets due to high porn volume):

      Nathaniel Taylor still resides in the Los Angeles area with his son. My barber at Magnificent Brothers Barber Shop on Crenshaw Boulevard in Los Angeles (Leimert Park area) mentioned that he comes in for a haircut from time to time at the shop. I inquired about him and left my number so I could get in touch with him but haven't heard from him as of yet.

      Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Where_is_Nathaniel_Taylor_who_played_Rollo_on_Sanford_and_Son#ixzz1kTZ8Tqyx

      Delete
    2. The MistressJanuary 25, 2012 at 7:26 AM

      Perhaps he'll pop into The Hair Hall of Fame!

      *fans self vigorously*

      Delete
    3. AnonymousJanuary 25, 2012 at 10:44 AM

      Make it so!

      Delete
  18. DeepBlueJanuary 25, 2012 at 6:52 AM

    I wonder if Ms Desmond will make this here a weekly rendez-vous?

    ReplyDelete
  19. David TomsJanuary 25, 2012 at 7:26 AM

    I keep having visions of Ms. Desmond and Tab Hunter masticating on a hot dog, and then I break out in a cold sweat and craving mustard. Help! I am at a loss.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The MistressJanuary 25, 2012 at 7:27 AM

      A hot dog makes you lose control!

      Delete
    2. normadesmondJanuary 25, 2012 at 9:13 AM

      thank you darling for now i'm having the same vision!

      Delete
    3. AnonymousJanuary 25, 2012 at 10:43 AM

      Norma, Tab lives nearby. Shall I fetch him and send him?

      Delete
    4. normadesmondJanuary 25, 2012 at 11:33 AM

      margaret, go get him...NOW.

      Delete
    5. Mar gar etJanuary 25, 2012 at 10:42 PM

      I did, but he looked into your window and saw you trip on your caftan running from the fridge back to the couch spilling that bowl of cherries and ding-dongs all over your faux fur rug, and is now on a bus back home. Sorry.

      Delete
  20. The MistressJanuary 25, 2012 at 1:58 PM

    Another question...

    What is the meaning of Mr. Peenee?

    ReplyDelete
  21. designing wallyJanuary 25, 2012 at 10:36 PM

    Do you accept American Express?

    ReplyDelete
  22. AnonymousJanuary 26, 2012 at 5:57 AM

    Is the advice free?

    ReplyDelete
  23. Rui BarrosFebruary 7, 2012 at 11:09 PM

    What's your 12 step program for anal bleaching addicts?

    ReplyDelete

Please, we're all ears!