REMEMBER THIS?
REMEMBER HOW SHE HAD THAT SECOND SET OF TEETH
THAT EMERGED TO MUNCH?
WELL THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PLUNK YOUR ASS
DOWN ON A TOTO SELF-CLEANING TOILET SEAT!
YES, YOU LIFT THE SEAT AND LIGHT, FLUFFY FEATHERS
DRIFT ABOUT, DOING THEIR BEST TO THROW YOU OFF.
PLUNK THAT FAT ASS DOWN AND YOU HEAR A FAINT SPRITZING SOUND, AS WELL AS SENSING SOMETHING MOVING CLOSER TO GROUND ZERO.
TURN YOUR HEAD TO THE RIGHT AND PRECISELY SELECT THE CLEANSING
ACTION THAT'S RIGHT FOR YOU. THERE'S GENTLE AND ITS COUNTERPART. AND THAT THING YOU HEARD INCH IT'S WAY TOWARDS YOUR TANG DOES JUST WHAT IT PROMISES. THEN SELECT DRY. THAT'S RIGHT, IT BLOWS IT DRY. I COULDN'T FIND A KNOB FOR GEL OR DETANGLER ON THIS MODEL.
NOT SURE HOW LADIES MANAGE TO PRY THEMSELVES OFF
THIS LOVE MACHINE.
Uh, I don't think I want that many moving parts near my parts.
ReplyDeletebut what of there's a tongue?
DeleteOh, try to find the detangler, norma. MJ needs that feature for her "tango-o" and gorilla armpits.
ReplyDeletedetangler for mj? only hot oil will do.
Deletescalding hot.
Deleteterrifying!
ReplyDeleteThis reads just like a horror story.
but a horror story with a squeaky clean ending.
DeleteI suppose it's a step up from using my sleeve.
ReplyDeletewell them we're just gonna have to get you back down where you belong, missy.
Deletecouldn't have said it better.
ReplyDelete