GUESS WHO!

WE HAVEN'T HAD A MYSTERY GUEST IN AGES!





WHY IT'S THE SPAWN OF MOSS HART & KITTY CARLISLE!

And once again, MORE OBITUARIES!

JUST IN CASE YOU'VE FORGOTTEN, I AM IN NO WAY 

ATTEMPTING TO BE DISRESPECTFUL TO THESE POOR UNFORTUNATE 

FOLKS WHO'VE LEFT US. I SIMPLY ENJOY AN "INTERESTING" NAME.

IN MY MERRY OLDSMOBILE

HER WISH IS MY COMMAND

LA MISTRESSA SPEAKS AND I JUMP.

HERE'S ALVY'S DAUGHTER, SIPSEY!

CRIME: IT'S EVERYONE'S PROBLEM

THIS AIN'T NO PLACE TO BE IF YOU PLAN ON BEING A STAR

WHILE "LA MISTRESSA" GETS HOSED DOWN, 

WE THOUGHT WE'D REOPEN NORMA'S POPULAR CAR WASH.

DETAILING & RIMS, EXTRA.

I'M REDECORATING

HERE'S THE LAMP MY DECORATOR SPECIFIED.

THROW (WAY) BACK THURSDAY

MY FIRST PRIZE WINNER- 1937

JUNE 26, 2015

WE'RE NOT FAGGOTS ANYMORE.

(I said this to a few clients today who were not expecting those words 

out of my mouth, but I thought it sounded pretty darn good.)

SHE'S BACK

THE LAWN NEEDED MOWING.

MJ's HOLIDAY SNAPS

YES, MJ's A BOTTOM.

(She's scheduled for a pedicure tomorrow)

JOKE OF THE DAY

Yes, this is rude. If you're very sensitive, please visit Infomaniac.

Two Muslim mothers are comparing notes.

The older of the Muslim mothers pulls out her bag and starts flipping through family photos and reminiscing.

"This is my oldest son, Mohamed. He would have been 24 now."

The other Mom replies, "I remember him as a baby."

The first mother says, "He's a martyr now.

"Oh, that's so sad, my dear."

Then the first mother flips to another picture. "And this is my second son, Abdul. He would be 21.

"Oh I remember him. He had such curly hair when he was born."

The first mother sighs, "He's also a martyr.

"Oh gracious me!", says the second mother.

"And this is my third son ... my beautiful Ahmed! He would have been 18 this year."

"Yes ...", says her friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school."

"He's also a martyr.", the first mother says. She sobs. Her eyes now fill with tears.

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photos, gently lays her hand on the first woman's shoulder and says,

"They blow up so fast, don't they?"

NO TEA, NO SHADE

In last Sunday's New York Times Magazine, "A Thousand Cuts" explained the art of shade and reading. I was thrilled to read the author's opening; the infamous shade that Aretha Franklin threw on Patti LaBelle at the White House last year. 

It was a great article, explaining the form & its beginnings. What I have here is a snippet from an ancient, "To Tell The Truth." Though I'm not certain of its date, I'm positive it's from the early 60s. I just stumbled upon this by accident a while back, but set it aside. I knew it would come in handy one day. So, Peggy always gave off a butchy vibe (yes, I know she was married). Were us queens throwing shade (and calling it that) back in that day?

HELP ME FIGURE OUT WHAT THESE PHOTOS

HAVE TO DO WITH THIS TUNE.

SPRING...

...IS IN THE AIR AND THAT MEANS 

PULLING THE OLDS OUT OF STORAGE.

I'M CONSIDERING A VANITY PLATE.