OBITUARIES!

 

WELL,  LISA MARIE DIED AND THAT GOT ME THINKING ABOUT DEATH WHICH MADE ME MENTION MY OBITUARY POSTS WHICH MADE ME GO CHECK OUT MY LATEST STASH! I WAS QUITE SURPRISED TO FIND HOW MUCH I'VE GOT IN THAT FOLDER.

DISCLAIMER: AS I'VE SAID BEFORE, I MAY BE MAKING FUN OF THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE'S NAMES OR SOMETHING ABOUT THEIR FACE OR THEIR WRITTEN OBITUARY, BUT I AM IN NO WAY CELEBRATING THEIR DEMISE.

I HOPE THEY ALL LIVED FABULOUS LIVES, SUFFERED LITTLE AND HAD GLORIOUS JOURNEYS AS THEY ASCENDED TO THEIR GLORY. 

Imagine living to 67 and this is your best photo. 

When your name is a typo.

Wonder if that symbol was on her ID?

If you could see the dick my neighbor had you'd gasp.

What. A. Face.

Who among us hasn't . . . . 

Wish her folks would've given her 

a middle name like Donaldessa, or Donaldina.

YET ANOTHER STUPID CELEBRITY DEATH

I WISH I'D THOUGHT OF THIS, BUT LADY BUNNY BEAT ME TO IT.

 AND BY STUPID I MEAN THERE'S A TOO LONG LINE OF THESE FAMOUS PEOPLE, SOME CRAZILY TALENTED THAT DIE WAY TOO EARLY BECAUSE OF DUMB THINGS LIKE DRUGS AND DRINK. WHENEVER I SEE ANYTHING ABOUT WHITNEY HOUSTON I IMMEDIATELY GROWL, ANGRY THAT BITCH IS GONE. 

SHOULD PRINCE BE DEAD? 

I WON'T BOTHER TO LIST THEM ALL, YOU KNOW WHO THEY ARE.

MAYBE IT'S TIME TO SEE WHAT OBITUARIES I'VE AMASSED?

SIX FEET UNDER

THE TITLE OF MY LAST POST MADE ME SMILE. 

"STILL ALIVE." 

THAT MAKES THIS POST EVEN MORE, IRONIC? 

I SNAPPED THIS YESTERDAY WHILE ON MY DAILY WALK.

I TAKE A WALK TO INTENTIONALLY REMOVE MYSELF 

FROM THE TELEVISION AND THE BLEAKNESS OF IT ALL

AND RUN SMACK DAB INTO DEATH AND THE DEATH OF DEATH.

(YES, THOSE NEIGHBORS, WHO I DO NOT KNOW, DRIVE A HEARSE)

YOU DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE CHEERED UP, RIGHT?

CLIMATE CHANGE

AND YOU THOUGHT FLOODING & RISING 

OCEANS WEREN'T TROUBLE ENOUGH.

I'M ENTRANCED BY THE MANICURED HAND OF GOD.

MURDER, SHE WROTE

I DON'T LIKE KILLING ANYTHING.

WE'VE HAD ZILLIONS OF MICE INVADE OVER THE YEARS. QUITE OFTEN, I'D SET A TRAP AND MOMENTS LATER I'D HEAR THE SNAP. I'D RUSH TO THE SCENE, BAG IN MY HAND AND SCOOP UP THE POOR DEAR & FREE IT OUTSIDE ACROSS THE STREET, ALL THE WHILE SCOLDING IT FOR COMING UNINVITED.

I FOUND THIS CARNAGE YESTERDAY. 

NEVER AND I DO MEAN NEVER HAS ANY MOUSE PRODUCED THIS 

TYPE OF SCENE FOR ME. BLOOD SPLATTERED ALMOST 2 FEET!