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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

WAAAHHHHHH!



I came across a ridiculous site the other day. I Loathe Lucy proclaims to be a collection of recollections by famous folks who worked with dear Miss Ball. The author of this blog, who is a mystery, has reinterpreted the "supposed" (my opinion and quotation marks) remarks of the celebs. He/she claims these are the words of the famous, gleaned from biographies, autobiographies, articles or hearsay, but all these remarks read eerily alike. The "author" of the blog has limitations and I think you'll agree with me that these are just the insane rantings of someone who certainly didn't like Lucy Ball. That said, the entries are hilarious. I'm gonna grab a few memorable lines, exactly as written and post them here, but you can go and peruse them all.





Patty Andrews on Lucy:

"Then Lucy took Maxene and myself aside. She said, "I bet you two sisters would 
want to do a little Les Love." Maxene was about to get sick. Lucy then offered to film it. I thought Lucy must be a lesbian but later on Lucie Jr. told me that her mother wasn't a lesbian; she just like the idea that we were sisters. And any sex that was weird and perverted turned her on."


Sally Field on Lucy:

"I told her I was now on the popular "The Girl with Something Extra." Right away Miss Ball's eyes lit up. I only realized much later what a pervert she was. She said to me, "Oh you have something EXTRA. I bet it is between your legs eh? Can I film it?" I was so disgusted by her twisted behaviour. Then she DEMANDED to see it. I told her she was wrong. I could hardly tell off a "legend" but she actually used her considerable girth to push me aside and she ripped off my pants and underwear. Then she started hollering "Where's that extra part I wanna see."


Liberace on Lucy:

"I was walking home when suddenly right out in the middle of Fifth Avenue in New York City, "Bitch Ball" lurched forward out of the darkness. "I got to have you, " screamed the hideous bitch. And she dropped her skirt exposing her crusted over, fish smelling twat. That's right Lucille Ball was exposing herself right there in the middle of Fifth Avenue in New York City. Of course one look at "Bitch Ball's" twat and I instantly turned gay. That's right Lucy made me a homosexual. I immediately ran home sobbing all the way home."


If you visit this warped destination, like me, you may be amazed at the work this person did (I'm not commenting on having an editor or fact checker). I'm wondering if it might have been a disgruntled employee? Anyway, 
I got a big hoot out of it. I just love the tale of how Lucy was basically responsible for Marlon Brando's death..




7 comments:

  1. I looked at the entries and was was amused by 1)how similar they are to one and other, and 2) how the sentence structures - everything, are like one and other.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Domain Name: ILOATHELUCY.COM
    Registrar: Whois Server: whois.schlund.info
    Referral URL: http://REGISTRAR.SCHLUND.INFO
    Name Server: NS57.1AND1.COM
    Name Server: NS58.1AND1.COM
    Status: ok
    Updated Date: 20-mar-2010
    Creation Date: 19-mar-2007
    Expiration Date: 19-mar-2011

    ReplyDelete
  3. The person behind that web site needs to be locked up for the good society, and their creative writing license needs to be thrown away.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh goodness...I remember the time that Lucy filmed me fellating Desi Jr. You know, when I was a baby.
    She was such a pervert.

    ReplyDelete
  5. jason, ship that film to me, pronto.

    ReplyDelete

Please, we're all ears!