OBITUARY!

 

THOUGH I'VE BEEN REMISS IN MY AMASSING AMAZING OBITUARIES, 

THIS ONE CAME TO MY ATTENTION TODAY AND I MUST SHARE IT. 

(Actually, it's just the first paragraph that's kinda jaw-dropping)

OBITUARIES!

 

WELL,  LISA MARIE DIED AND THAT GOT ME THINKING ABOUT DEATH WHICH MADE ME MENTION MY OBITUARY POSTS WHICH MADE ME GO CHECK OUT MY LATEST STASH! I WAS QUITE SURPRISED TO FIND HOW MUCH I'VE GOT IN THAT FOLDER.

DISCLAIMER: AS I'VE SAID BEFORE, I MAY BE MAKING FUN OF THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE'S NAMES OR SOMETHING ABOUT THEIR FACE OR THEIR WRITTEN OBITUARY, BUT I AM IN NO WAY CELEBRATING THEIR DEMISE.

I HOPE THEY ALL LIVED FABULOUS LIVES, SUFFERED LITTLE AND HAD GLORIOUS JOURNEYS AS THEY ASCENDED TO THEIR GLORY. 

Imagine living to 67 and this is your best photo. 

When your name is a typo.

Wonder if that symbol was on her ID?

If you could see the dick my neighbor had you'd gasp.

What. A. Face.

Who among us hasn't . . . . 

Wish her folks would've given her 

a middle name like Donaldessa, or Donaldina.

LOVE IN THE TIME OF COVID

YOU KNOW HOW I LOVE EYE-RAISING OBITUARIES.

You don't even want to know the conspiracy theories this produced.

I'd say she was lucky to see 77 with that name.

What can I say?

This is my sophomoric side showing. 

Not sure how she could go through life saying that name aloud.

Only the best.

Eternal flame nominee.

The choice of photo was my reason for inclusion.

I realize that this was the paper's mistake, they put her first last name in 

the wrong place, but I enjoyed thinking her first name was Garberg & her nickname 'Bea.'

As always, I mean no disrespect to any of the included. 

I wish I'd never found their notice, I wish they'd never had to leave.

MICHAEL COHEN DAY

SITTING HERE, GLUED TO THE TELEVISION. 

Because I must sit here, I started snooping around the laptop and found I've been amassing these obituaries for ages! Time to purge!!

And these two are not standouts because of their names, read on.