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Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Religion 101

7 comments:

  1. A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?"
    "Not too good," says the mother. "I've been very weak."
    The son says, "Why are you so weak?"
    She says, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
    The man says, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"
    The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call" Now that's guilt and I believe she also used the chair method.

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  2. maddie, you put words to the drawing!

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  3. I see you've met my best friend Benjamin!

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  4. "Don't mind me, I'll just Heimlich myself. But I don't want to use the good chair."

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  5. There must be some Jewish blood somewhere in my DNA. It must be.

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  6. For Catholics, you are expected to own your guilt for doing something wrong. And those "wrongs" are explained in detail throught your childhood.

    But for Jews, guilt is given for any infaction, real or imagined, drawn from an invisable list of actions that changes as secretly and frequently as security login from random codes generated by a chipset fob.

    Failing to pay your taxes is not a sin, because God gave us tax attorneys., but God forbid you should come for a five minute visit on your way to the store. "Do me a favor," a jewish granmother will say "Don't come here unless you have time for a real visit. I could die any day and I would hate for you to be the one who finds me on the floor, and have to ruin your schedule by staying long enough for the ambulence to pick up my lifeless body."

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Please, we're all ears!