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Tuesday, January 24, 2012

The Doctor is IN


OVER AT RADIO INFOMANIAC, OUR DEAREST FRIEND MISTRESS MJ HAS BLOWN THE LID OFF MY TRUE PASSION, MY REASON FOR LIVING. AND THAT IS WHAT YOU QUERY? WHY, IT'S YOU DARLING!! YOU AND YOUR TROUBLES, YOU AND YOUR PHOBIAS, YOU AND YOUR FEARS. TELL MOTHER NORMA WHATEVER HAUNTS YOU AT NIGHT. TELL MOTHER NORMA WHAT TAUNTS YOU DURING THE DAY. I'M LICENSED IN 49 STATES AND FULLY BONDED. THE LINES ARE OPEN!

54 comments:

  1. The letter "A" between the "W" and the "C" on your microphone appears to have gone missing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i had to buy the station to get that "A" removed.

      Delete
  2. Dear Norma
    I had a Dream recently about an ear trumpet being used as a rear trumpet... Please... what does it all mean?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thank you princess for your excellent question!
      i think you need to run that trumpet thru the sani-cycle in your dishwasher!

      Delete
  3. Your co-host has the lips of a horn player!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Does this butt plug make me look gay?

    ReplyDelete
  5. What is this thing on my pudenda? Can I teach it to talk, like a cow? Will it steal for me if I threaten it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i've called 911 and they'll be here shortly.

      Delete
  6. Replies
    1. just hung up from speaking to the head of the CDC.
      it doesn't look good.

      Delete
  7. Will MJ's horrible seeping rash, with fuzz and crud stuck to it, and a pine cone, clear up?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. take the mirror out from between your legs dear.

      Delete
  8. I've removed all of those "DO NOT REMOVE UNDER PENALTY OF LAW" tags from the pillows at Infomaniac. Does the TSA have jurisdiction for this crime in Canada?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. i'm fearful it's the other crimes that they're more interested in.
      and yes, with crimes like yours, there are no borders.

      Delete
  9. *sprays Pristeen liberally toward Ms. Nation’s pudenda*

    *hides from TSA*

    ReplyDelete
  10. pristeen simply won't cut it with this outbreak.
    one must starve the thing of oxygen, and pray.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Well Norma, I have had these dreams, many nights, that these small creatures that look like gnomes, get me drunk, And then 20 to 30 dildos that look like Mistress Mj's striped stockings try to rape me. Any clues?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. whew! you wrote, "...try to rape me."
      it means you're still a virgin.

      Delete
  12. Dear Norma,
    Why didn't Rollo have his own, bad cat spin-off from "Sanford & Son"?

    ReplyDelete
  13. why has the universe been getting on kabuki's last nerve

    ReplyDelete
  14. How did I get this rash from MJ?-no wait, I know the answer to that one. OK. Why didn't Rollo have his own 'bad cat' spin-no wait. OK. OK.
    ..no. I really want to know more about this whole 'Rollo denied his own spinoff' thing. Rollo was fly as hell. *snif*

    ReplyDelete
  15. Two things that scare me the most in this world: "Prince" Frederic von Anhalt and Dunaway's veneers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. they should. you're obviously a very smart man. now, run....FAST!

      Delete
  16. Thanks to Margaret, I've fruitlessly spent the wee hours of the morning looking for information about Rollo...i.e. where is he now?

    Because when asked, "Which Sanford and Son character would YOU do?" I always answered without hesitation...."ROLLO!"

    *waves stockinged foot seductively at Mistress Maddie*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rollo basically lives a quiet life, incognito, if you will. Perhaps he walks among us?

      From Wiki Answers.com (obviously blocked on MJ's Internets due to high porn volume):

      Nathaniel Taylor still resides in the Los Angeles area with his son. My barber at Magnificent Brothers Barber Shop on Crenshaw Boulevard in Los Angeles (Leimert Park area) mentioned that he comes in for a haircut from time to time at the shop. I inquired about him and left my number so I could get in touch with him but haven't heard from him as of yet.

      Read more: http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Where_is_Nathaniel_Taylor_who_played_Rollo_on_Sanford_and_Son#ixzz1kTZ8Tqyx

      Delete
    2. Perhaps he'll pop into The Hair Hall of Fame!

      *fans self vigorously*

      Delete
  17. I wonder if Ms Desmond will make this here a weekly rendez-vous?

    ReplyDelete
  18. I keep having visions of Ms. Desmond and Tab Hunter masticating on a hot dog, and then I break out in a cold sweat and craving mustard. Help! I am at a loss.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A hot dog makes you lose control!

      Delete
    2. thank you darling for now i'm having the same vision!

      Delete
    3. Norma, Tab lives nearby. Shall I fetch him and send him?

      Delete
    4. I did, but he looked into your window and saw you trip on your caftan running from the fridge back to the couch spilling that bowl of cherries and ding-dongs all over your faux fur rug, and is now on a bus back home. Sorry.

      Delete
  19. Another question...

    What is the meaning of Mr. Peenee?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hmm, this i cannot answer at this moment.
      i must sit on it for a bit.

      Delete
    2. I gocher Magic 8 Ball right here.

      Delete
  20. What's your 12 step program for anal bleaching addicts?

    ReplyDelete

Please, we're all ears!